Forgetting the Hurt, Remember the Hope

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Moving On Quotes

How did you feel when you saw them? In all likelihood you felt threatened and very shaken. But then think of how you felt years later, when all was water under the bridge, and you had let go or resentment. Did they then have any power over you at all? Not forgiving someone allows us to feel sorry for ourself and to gain the attention of others for what has happened to us.

And if we are unhappy as is, that attention can be like a drug we want more of to make ourselves feel better and wanted. Forgiveness requires being able to let go of our victimhood and realise that we are ready for the better benefits of moving on. It means being ready to feel powerful and able to choose good things for ourselves. By: Roni Amin. We can get so used to playing the victim that on a unconscious level we begin to lose sight that we can be anything else, or we believe that our story of how we were wronged is what makes us interesting. It is important to remember that you are much more than what has happened to you.

Forgiveness is about you and how you feel about something and someone, not how they react to how you feel. You simply have to work through your own emotions and resentments and decide which ones you are able to let go of and heal for your own wellbeing. Forgiveness is certainly an emotional process.

Find lasting comfort in these Bible quotes on forgiveness.

It can be similar to the process of grieving, full of ups and downs. But repressing sadness and rage has long term effects that can be even more difficult to deal with, so it is definitely a case of the sooner you allow your feelings out and start letting go the better. The truth is they might not forgive you in return. Forgiveness is not a guaranteed two-way street.

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It is an act of release and healing by self and for self. Forgiving the other person usually entails taking responsibility for our part of what happened and forgiving ourselves, too- and that can be even harder than forgiving them! The wonderful thing is that when we do forgive ourselves for the choices we made that led us to be hurt by another, we often spontaneously forgive the other. Start with you and see what happens.

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Not at all. Our experiences of being wronged or wounded in life are often the very ones that give us the biggest lessons- showing us our own values and truths, and earning us our personal strength. If we try too hard to forget what happened we might find ourselves just repeating a similar painful scenario down the line. Forgive the other, and forget the pain with time, but hold on to those learnings. Keep focussing on ways to move forward and be good to yourself, and let the moment of forgiveness come of its own accord. Although in the western world we like to see forgiveness as a sort of destination we can reach with enough determination on our part, the truth is that forgiveness is a process.

It takes time, it has ups and downs, and is a long term commitment- even if we do forgive, a few months down the line we can be triggered by something we see or hear, feel pain again, and have to recommit to forgiveness. Have you had trouble forgiving someone? Have these 12 reasons for not being able to forgive and forget led to a revelation for you?

Feel free to comment below, we love hearing from you. Sometimes we need to do what we need to do to protect ourselves, and we forgive when we are ready. Of course in this situation you have to work together, which makes things tricky. On the one hand, it would be great to have an honest talk, but letting her know you like her when you work together might cause troubles for both of you. So it becomes about doing your best to put the situation behind you and being kind to this person, and then forgiving when you feel ready.

My husband cheated on me for over 6 months I caught him through text. Gosh that is terribly hard. Being betrayed is never easy. Perhaps allow that it will take quite a long time to find peace again — 6 months is no time at all. Having our trust broken can be a process a bit like mourning. It comes in waves. We mourn what was or what we thought was. Couples counselling is another idea, but there is something to be said for just taking care of yourself first — an figuring out who you are after all these 17 years. I fell out with one of my friend in uni.

It was a group assignment he made a big mistake he paid someone to do the assignment. Perhaps in time, you can see that he must certainly not be a very happy or confident person to be acting in such a ways, and that people like that do things not out of a desire to upset other people, but because they use drama and deceit to avoid their own inner pain.

I had a row with my brother 18 months ago because he got abusive when he was drunk. Then he died suddenly as a consequence of his lifestyle. She is still punishing me 18 months after the row by saying my brothers friends have priority over me as far as funeral dates are concerned.

I feel she just wants to lash out at me again and keep punishing me for not accepting my brothers behaviour. I was with my ex gf for 4 yrs and fell in love her 3 young kids as much as I did her. She has not once been willing to talk about our relationship at all or admit any faults. I want to get rid of the anger I have towards her but her continuing to drink 4 nights and closes the bar down each night continues to scratch st the wounds that her drinking caused Initially.

I have this childish urge to want her to suffer some type of consequences. She has not lost anyhting except me which is what she wanted. I just hsve so many questions about how she can be with me for 4 years and not cry when we break up. Or hug me???! Gosh, how hard this must all be for you. Families are really complicated things, and losing a loved one is even more so. It sounds like your sister is mourning in her own unique way, which sadly involves pushing people away and blaming and being inconsistent. Sometimes time is needed, especially after a loss.

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And it sounds like you have a lot of grief of your own right now. Go easy on yourself, take care of yourself, and in time, things will shift.

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You sound like a human being who really wants to be loved. But here you are, so worried about her and her needs, and what she did right and wrong… you are getting lost in the fray. Your thoughts are overtaken by her instead of your own wellbeing. You might want to consider looking for a free support group in your area for partners of alcoholics, Al-Anon, where you will meet others who understand exactly what you are going through. Hope this helps! I recently caught my wife cheating on me through a whats app chat made available to me by a friend.

I am really failing to forgive her completely though we are back together. Please help. Work with your own emotions around it, and work to make sure you are both communicating. I, met my ex husband when i was I had my daughter and he raised her as his own till she was nine and a half. We were together for almost 10 years. He was good to me.. He worked hard and showed me a lot he was eight years older than i was..

We had a good relationship we also concieved my second daughter. I was happy.. But then as time went i started getting depressed.. I gained a lot of weight..

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  • And i wanted to move out of the state we was in or atleast to another town. But he fidnt want to because of his job.. He got so obsessed with work..

    Forgetting the Hurt, Remember the Hope
    Forgetting the Hurt, Remember the Hope
    Forgetting the Hurt, Remember the Hope
    Forgetting the Hurt, Remember the Hope
    Forgetting the Hurt, Remember the Hope
    Forgetting the Hurt, Remember the Hope
    Forgetting the Hurt, Remember the Hope

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